


i'm flirting with the check-out counter

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4872268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He looks about <em>ten</em>, tiny and scowling, but when Tim tackled him for shoplifting the kid just about fought him off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm flirting with the check-out counter

"How old are you?" Jason asks the kid. He looks about _ten_ , tiny and scowling, but when Tim tackled him for shoplifting the kid just about fought him off.

"Old enough to kick _your_ ass," the kid says, and Roy actually _snorts_.

"You can't hold me," the kid says. "I'm underage. The worst anyone will do is give me a slap on the wrist."

Jason kind of wants to slap the shit out of this kid. Luckily, Dick's here to put things back on track.

"You're probably right," he says. "But we can still call your parents. In fact, we _have_ to do that. So maybe if you cooperate, we just tell them that you stole some buttons, not that you tried to make off with almost a hundred bucks worth of merchandise."

The kid's scowl deepens, but then he spits out, "Fine," and rattles off his dad's number.

 

*

 

The kid's name is Damian, and Jason's sure there's never been a more appropriate name for this devil-child. Jason's the only one left by the time Damian's dad shows up; everyone else bailed to check out the new bar where Kori's working, promising to have a couple of drinks in his honor. Jason doesn't know how he got stuck with this shit; _Dick's_ the fucking manager.

"Yeah," Dick agreed, scratching his head. "But as your manager I'm assigning this one to _you_. Besides, I think he likes you."

So yeah, Jason's pretty much hoping that all of his friends get alcohol poisoning just about the time Damian says, "That's him," and Jason -

Well, he doesn't hate Dick so much anymore.

Jason pushes himself off the counter and goes to meet the guy. Dick's the one who talked to him on the phone, so when the guy says, "Hello, you must be -"

"Jason," Jason finishes for him, a little breathlessly.

"Bruce Wayne," the guy says, holding out his hand, and Jason is instantly conscious of the fact that Tim painted his nails _orange_ today. 

"Look," Jason says. "I'm sorry about all this, but -"

"Don't apologize," Bruce says. "I should be apologizing to _you._ " He looks over at Damian, asks, "Damian, do I have to have Alfred come _in_ the mall with you next time?" he asks, and Jason sees Damian blush.

"No need for that," Jason says. "He gets on our shoplifter wall of fame, so the _next_ time we seem him -"

Most of the time, when they deal with kids' parents after something like this, the parents start screaming at their kid, or insisting to _them_ that their kid didn't do anything wrong.

Bruce laughs. Bruce laughs, and Jason kind of forgets what else is even going on, that he's supposed to be sending Bruce and his little demon child on their way, that -

"Excuse me," Damian says. "But I'd like to go home now, if I'm not under _arrest_ or whatever. All I've had to eat in _hours_ is that _garbage_ -"

"Mall food," Jason explains when Bruce looks puzzled. "What are you doing to this kid that he's never had a Cinnabon?"

"Well, I suppose he _is_ a bit sheltered," Bruce admits. "Perhaps we should _both_ come back sometime soon, and…"

"Experience a little mall culture?" Jason teases. "I'd be happy to be your guide."

This time _Bruce_ blushes.

 

*

 

"Where the hell have you _been_?" Roy asks him when he finally shows up at the bar. "Tim and I were starting to worry that little Lucifer might've killed you."

"Nah," Jason says. He leans over the bar to give Kori a kiss hello, but Roy's still staring at him when he sits down.

"Something's weird," Roy says.

" _You're_ weird, yeah," Jason agrees.

"No," Roy says. "Something _happened_."

Jason feels himself blushing, but he doesn't want to talk about it, not with Roy and not at the bar, so he says, "Just - do some shots with me, okay?" and luckily Roy is _that_ easily distracted.


End file.
